Protein: we all know it’s good for us, but when you try to read up on it, all you get are these chemical explanations that bring back sweaty nightmares from high school. So what is it? And since it’s called pro-tein, does that mean you can be against tein as well?

What is it?!

Protein is one of the nutrients that provide your body with energy, just like carbs and fats. The thing that makes protein different from those other guys? Amino acid. That may sound like a Spotify playlist for Japanese techno music, but it’s actually an essential building block for your body.

And it’s amazing, really. It’s good for your bones, your blood, your skin and hair, and it defends you against infections. It helps your muscles to contract, your eyes to see and your nails to scratch out the eyes of your enemies. (Or open a can of cola.)

Your body needs a steady supply of protein, because when there are no new building blocks coming in, your body will pull the amino acid from itself. You know, like a Jenga-tower that grows because pieces are pulled from itself. Everybody who ever played a game of Jenga knows that the more blocks you pull from it, the sooner the tower will collapse, and you have to get on the floor to pick up the pieces, your knees in a puddle of beer, your head bumping up against the table. So you’d better eat some fresh building blocks regularly, you get me?

So where do I get these Jenga-blocks?

Jimmy Joy’s got you covered. The protein in Plenny Shake contains all nine of the essential amino acids your body needs, making sure your body is supplied with the recommended daily intake set by the World Health Organization, the European Food Safety Authority and the CPC. That last one stands for Cool People Club and we made it up. The first two organizations are legit though!

There’s not just one source of protein in Plenny Shake, there’s three: rice, hemp and soy. The protein in soy alone would have been more than enough to provide you with all the essential amino acids, but we put rice and hemp in there as well, for the very scientific reason of ‘we thought it was cool’. (And also for the fact that it creates a more diverse nutrient profile)

There’s no difference in the provision of amino acids by our original and our vegan shakes. The vegan variety is more environmentally friendly, that’s all. And looking at the state of the environment right now, well shit. You might just consider it.

Some fun facts about protein:

Protein is very helpful when recovering from RSI. So it’s very good for computer addicts and also for masturbation addicts.
In the manufacturing of latex, a milk protein is used. Most condoms are therefore unsuitable for use by vegans. (Don’t forget to tell your vegan babies about Plenny Shake Vegan!) https://www.verywell.com/wondering-what-condoms-are-made-of-906749
Peanut butter was invented to be a source of protein for people with no teeth. Meth heads always have the best foods. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peanut_butter#History
A protein in the human body is named after Pikachu, because it transmits electrical impulses from the eyes to the brain (thankfully not while shouting its own name in a high-pitched voice). http://inventorspot.com/articles/lightningfast_vision_protein_named_after_pikachu_16170
There’s also a type of protein in the human body named after Sonic the Hedgehog. We’re not sure why—maybe the protein is fast? Or prickly? Maybe the protein is a forgotten nineties icon that never reached the same level of fame as its competitor Protein Mario? https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/06/110613162238.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily+%28ScienceDaily%3A+Latest+Science+News%29
The word ‘protein’ means ‘of prime importance’, which makes sense now that you know what protein does for your body. We hope fats and carbs don’t feel too bad that they’re obviously second-rate nutrients.
The protein in Plenny Shake helps lowering the glycemic index of the shake, lowering the impact of a sugar crash. So it’s because of protein you’re not whining for a nap a few hours after lunch.
We couldn’t find out if you can be against tein as well. The biology professor we’ve been asking keeps hanging up on us. We’re gonna keep trying though!